This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
