Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
