Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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