I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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