your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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