is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
