he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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