What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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