there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's blow job season.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
