whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize