I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
