You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
