Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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