Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
