just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
