he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
