But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
