this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
