CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
