Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
