I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
