How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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