Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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