I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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