I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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