So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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