somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
