Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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