He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
