well most of my day revolves around power hour
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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