Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
