yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
