U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
