I can text with my tongue
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
