i jhust puked up my retainher.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
