She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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