You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
