Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
