Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
