I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
