you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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