I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
