well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
4 words: hood of his car
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
