If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
