i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
