yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
