i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
