I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
