Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
