pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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