once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize