this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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