btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
