So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize