Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
