Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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