the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
