I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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