Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
