You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
