Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
