Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
