i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
