drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
