im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
