You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
