Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
