Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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